if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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