break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
