dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize