We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize