I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
