We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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