i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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