Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Did I show you my penis last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
