He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
