We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
