This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
