went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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