New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize