I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
