I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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