I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
