I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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