We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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