bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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