who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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