i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
