I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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