Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Drake has all the answers
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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