Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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