Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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