Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
