I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
