So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
