hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
