Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
