How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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