Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
