if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
