whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
