We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
