I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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