Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
