The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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