Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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