sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
