I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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