dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
