She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
