I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he thought i was a dude.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize