we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
