Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
