so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
