True but thats because hes a fetus.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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