I think my fart just growled at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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