Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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