I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
