Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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