Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
