Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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