i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
