Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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