The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
not ubering you a puppy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
