i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
