his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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