meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
