It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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