his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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