i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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