I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
